A trip to a foreign city? What an opportunity to get out and explore as much as you possibly can, the sights, sounds, and culture. As the recent post on my stationery adventures in Japan suggests, we certainly did get around and explore.
I’m a somewhat routine oriented person, which can itself cause certain limitations, however also has the ability to bring untold joy and contentment, over and over again. Life often becomes a constant search for the next thing — whether that be doom-scrolling, the next great pen, even a perfect espresso. Always the search. Contentment? That’s another world, and one which definitely exists on a higher plane.
Located about a three-minute walk from our hotel, Blue Bottle in Shibuya would probably not be your idea of immersing yourself in the traditional culture, given its typical Blue Bottle menu.
A counterpoint which I’d most likely make though: the attention to detail, architectural aesthetic, and wonderful staff are quintessentially Japan, granted, without perhaps the deep tradition. Though if you look, it is present in touches.We have over four thousand photos from the 11-day trip in our shared iCloud photo album. A way to mark the start of each day? My coffee photo of the morning from Blue Bottle. As I retrospectively fill out the travel journal of the trip, I can confidently scroll to the next tabletop coffee photo and begin the days’ review.
None of this is about Blue Bottle, Shibuya, a trip to Japan, or even the coffee — great as it all was. It’s the fact that for a brief moment, you are a local, going about your daily routine with an untold level of joy, spirit, optimism, and excitement about what the day exploring will bring. In reality, that is of course pure fantasy, with a vacation removing the daily grind of your working existence, something those kind souls walking by each morning on their way to work knew all too well.
For that small snapshot in time, though? I’ll consider myself a local, and fondly recall everything about my days spent walking to this calm, majestic space. Content to the very last sip.
Yearly planning. Goals. Themes. It’s that time of year again. A time to decide what type of system you might subscribe to, align with, or have a go at this year. At times, the superimposed complexity we add to reviewing the year’s end and planning for the next can be stifling. We force our way into a system or way of thinking we’d read or heard about, only to be left with more uncertainty rather than a clear, well-defined path. Go on, ask me how I know…
With the opportunity comes the dread.
So Far
Over that quiet, relaxing Christmas/New Year Period, I entertained the following, amongst other things:
Some of the above remain ongoing, as you might imagine, and the irony of my introductory paragraph when compared with the list above is not lost on me. That said, it wouldn’t be this time of year without such a list…
Guiding light or railroad
Of course, without some sort of intention, we are just meandering through space and time. Yet, at the same time, perhaps a simple list will do. Or maybe three?
More of this
Less of this
Try this
Wait… the year of the list perhaps?
In recent years I have tended to have a somewhat meandering January followed by some kind of realisation (epiphany?) at the start of February, and then we’re underway. In seeing the same pattern develop again this year, I will simply embrace that and begin whatever it is I settle upon in late January or when the calendar turns over to February.
The journey probably is the destination
Is a successful and robust “system” really a process, or some sort of completed state with a finite end point?
The distinction between having arrived versus being at your destination is likely important. One is simply a point in space (and perhaps time) — a finite conclusion. The other? Well, I think it infers some kind of arbitrary achievement in concluding whatever journey you were on. Perhaps there are others at the same destination; however, no-one can take that journey and arrive for you. That is for you and you alone. Here I am. I’ve done the work to get here, and my arrival marks the conclusion of that.
The problem is, maybe we never really manage to arrive at the destination we’ve set? What if the destination is sufficiently vague to the point where perhaps I arrived 2 years ago (hardly…) or I’m unknowingly powering along to somewhere I’ll never get to. Worse still, what if that destination wasn’t quite right all along, and now here we are and well… it’s a little underwhelming at best?
All that being what it is, if you never ask the question; do the work; consider your options; engage with the journey; then sure, that’s a guarantee you’ll never arrive. It only takes one thing, something, to make it all worthwhile, and you’ll often find that along the way rather than at the destination. I think it’s in accepting the journey never really ends is where the real magic lies.
Keep moving, keep evolving and learn along the way. Ask questions more about where you are now, where are you going, and embrace the journey as the destination. Going through the process is what’s likely needed to improve things. The destination being a perfect system that works all the time and never needs to change? A false god.
Tried and filed
Yes, correct. That’s filed, not failed. I’m a firm believer in that the best approach at any given time may be one you’ve used before and moved on from, only to consider returning as the situation dictates. You’ve got runs on the board. You know how it works and why it would or wouldn’t align with your current needs. Experience counts.
Maybe it’s just the thing to extricate yourself from a situation of overwhelm. Or at least inform your next steps. The airlines had it right all along: “remember, your nearest exit may be behind you…”
A perfect way to avoid yet another foray into a “new” system, which may take a good few months to really bed down.
Just a thought…
My experience has seen me in and out of a few “systems”. Twice filed Bullet Journal escapades (notwithstanding my analogue adoration, there was just too much digital in my life to make this work). A few years running the Theme System and associated journal (I was always too specific in theme and didn’t check in/reset often enough).
There are probably a few more that escape me currently, though my daily journalling habit is something which hasn’t waned over the past few years.
This Year
…to save me from tears — or at least undue stress and anxiety about what I’m going to use, things are a little less systematised, so to speak. That said, I do tend to ruminate a little through January on various topics, themes, plans, and the like (as you can see by that So Far list above).
Funny thing is, between the commencing the initial draft and completing this post (a period spanning much of January), I did manage to organise my thoughts a little better. I must thank you for allowing me to write through this out loud — always the best way to find yourself at least closer to, if not at the very foot of, a solution or answer.
I wish you well on whatever plan or system you might be embarking on this year. May it be a runaway success. If not, the tried and filed category will still serve you well for years to come.
There are times you feel things butting up against your limits. Tasks, pressures, big and small projects, life events. Margin all but gone, yet somehow things seem to roll along — though I sometimes wonder if I’m just confusing that with the simple march of time, which of course never quits.
Tasks are completed, projects roll out, and seemingly with not too much choice about it, you just carry on with the rest. In times like these, you begin to think about what sets those limits. Are they arbitrary? Chosen by me? Imposed by others or circumstance? I suspect it is largely down to the choices we make in many respects — perhaps with a touch of playing the hand you are dealt thrown in. If I subscribe to the choices scenario (and I do), then I must also believe there are ways to manage things and regain some of that margin along with it.
I’ll say straight off the bat, that is a question to which I have no answer. This is most definitely not a post outlining how to win at task management, calendar time-blocking or life in general. Whatever productivity abacus you might use to count, plan, manage, track and organise will not be explained, assisted, or made more effective by any of what follows. Struggles are real, and mine are no different. Every so often you sit down and think about what is at the heart of these struggles, and eventually after much writing, mind mapping and handwringing, come up with not much at all. This was one of those times, though I cannot help but think that writing this out loud at least takes things one step closer to understanding a little more about what might be at play here.
Writing posts for this blog is done largely for myself, and by that I don’t mean as the reader but the writer. I’ve always considered it to be “writing out loud”, in that whilst it better be readable, make sense and be factually correct, it’s also a means of talking through something with yourself (a public journal of sorts). While I find this incredibly helpful, it is you the reader who must suffer through it all — so thank you for that. An added bonus is (hopefully) realising when you are saying something utterly ridiculous, though I admit that can be harder to determine than it sounds.
My point being that writing things out loud generally produces a somewhat more analytical and considered thought process, and often provides me with some pretty good answers. Unfortunately, this is perhaps not one of those times.
The title, by the way, could have really been anything. Confidence, procrastination, knowledge, will, resilience — any of those, and you’ll find them all on the mind map I tapped out before commencing the post. Settling on the above came about simply because at the time of writing, the main question I was wrestling with was whether I have the capacity, enough time, or even the motivation to carry on with some plans I’d made a few months ago.
The answer is probably yes, further moderated by eventually— though I have a bit of thinking to do between now and then, and that’s okay.
Margin
If, as Richard Swenson writes in his book Margin, we define it as follows:
Margin is the space between our load and our limits. It is the amount allowed beyond that which is needed. It is something held in reserve for contingencies or unanticipated situations.
…then in times like these you begin to question exactly what sets those limits, and whether there is anything pushing at these limits that has no business being there in the first place. It’s the chronic stress (bad) vs acute stress (dealt with by our “reserve”) health scenario all over again.
Perhaps said limits are arbitrary, somehow chosen by me, or perhaps imposed by circumstance. I cannot help but think what’s closer to reality is the choices I make dictate how close I get to those limits, rather than setting the boundary fence itself. Though I guess if we look at the definition above, it’s up to me to set an arbitrary boundary (load) inside the outer fence (limit).
Perspective
Planning? Tracking? Task management? The ability to sit and think about what to tackle next. What an enviable position to be in, and many don’t enjoy the same agency in leading their day-to-day lives. I somehow think being in such a privileged position lends itself to wasting some of that opportunity through taking for granted what you actually have to work with.
Poor me. Sitting here in angst, sweating over what to either put on — or complete off — my task management list. Here I should confirm this is not a thinly veiled swipe at all the productivity enthusiasts out there, but a genuine self-reflection on where I currently sit with this. It’s definitely me. All me.
Intention
If it goes on a list you’ll do it, right? Right? Sure I will, eyeing off the items added a couple of years ago to just “fix up a little” around the house yet remain to this day undone. At times I think the advice to rename your “reminders” to “inbox” should instead suggest renaming it to “Someday/Maybe”. That’s it. Everything goes in a “might do” list until (if ever) it’s actually done.
Why is that? Sure there are captured items that are so captured because that is the entirety of where my brain has gotten to at that particular time, yet there are just as many — if not more — that are captured with good intent, yet overrun by the “I don’t really want to do that” vibe. Sure, some things don’t need doing, yet the ones that truly gnaw at you are the must-do items with the “don’t want to” tag subconsciously applied.
Systems and processes certainly help, yet they cannot begin, grind through, and finish off the task for you. There are a few other factors at play here.
Bandwidth
Whilst we might also consider this one as capacity, the big ticket item here being thoughts, and maybe they are one and the same, though I’ve always considered capacity more in physical terms. Bandwidth, though? Well, when that maxes out it has generally filled with thoughts — many of them less than eloquently organised as stressful times or situations mount up.
It’s such an arbitrary construct though isn’t it. As I write this in my usual time slot approaching dawn, there really isn’t anything pulling at me—just thoughts, which I guess is precisely my point. Even in quiet times, we are each alone with our thoughts, particularly in the cold light of day as I write this post.
I must admit, there are not too many times when overwhelm hits me and there just seems to be too much going on. Good management? Hardly. I think a lot of the time it’s more good luck than the former. Perhaps having less going on socially frees up some time (yes, you guessed it — not really a people person…), though some might say that’s undoubtedly the opposite of what helps through times like these. Maybe, maybe not. It’s just how I’ve always “rolled” so to speak.
Sure, there are many ways to tackle things such as maxed out bandwidth. Learn to say “no” they say. Protect time for yourself they say. All noble endeavours (and successful strategies) indeed, however often easier said than done. I’d also question based on experience whether hitting the productivity app and system trail is ever really the answer.
If I just tweaked my “system” a little…
Time
Is there really time without time management? Or should that simply be time outgoings, given it’s something we constantly spend. Time is not really the enemy here, is it? Merely our use or prioritisation of where we are spending it.
I guess this is usually why you end up down the next great productivity system racket because surely that last book you read or the new update to that app will do the trick. Perhaps it’s back to weighing up digital vs analogue (yet again). No doubt, most of us would likely admit to falling into one (or both) of two traps. Either looking for more time (there isn’t any unfortunately — ha… wow how about that) or spending too much of it managing the “system” itself.
Yep, guilty Your Honour.
Add to that a certain amount of overwhelm and by association — resistance to do anything at all. Call it what you will: analysis by paralysis, too much to even know where to start… Any of those will perhaps be about right.
Is it simply about knowing yourself and understanding where you typically waste time? Procrastination to the front of the queue here if you please. Perhaps it’s pushing so hard for so long but maybe in the wrong direction? I’ve often said in many situations there is no right or wrong answer, simply the one you choose. Should I question that logic a little more? On most occasions, there probably is a “right-er” answer — perhaps it’s a sliding scale rather than a zero or one.
Motivation
Resilience. Will. Grit. Determination. Or in the dying words of Sean Connery’s Jim Malone in The Untouchables: “what are you prepared to do…” In some ways, therein lies the kicker. It’s doing — not planning to do. Could you go through this life without a “trusted system”, simply moving forward and tackling things as they come? Sure, though I’m guessing there might be a few things you’d miss along the way. Yet, conversely — is that the simpler life?
More broadly speaking though, I just wonder if the perfect “trusted system” really helps with a fundamental question such as “why is it all so hard”. Can’t make it any worse surely — unless we come back to more energy being required to manage the system.
Sure, I’ve read numerous books about habit formation, decision fatigue, and removing the need to rely on willpower alone. There is one major assumption here, the existence of a certain level of motivation to push forward regardless. I’m not sure if you can truly habit-form, decision-remove, and negate the need for willpower to reach a state akin to forever coasting downhill like a kid on a bike — and make meaningful and lasting progress. Perhaps I’m wrong, and the only thing I’m akin to is an old man shouting at the sky…
Wrapping things up
One of my force multipliers in action – photo by Antoni Shkraba on Pexels.com
As I mentioned in an overly long introduction above, this was always a post asking countless questions without really providing any answers. So this conclusion will, of course, be acknowledging loose ends rather than tying them up — it’s just the way it is at the moment.
If you’ve made it this far along my stream of consciousness rant, I thank you. If any of it sounds familiar, I stand with you. There sure is a lot to slog through on a day-to-day basis. Find your force multipliers — you know, those things that fit under the heading ”here lies the good”. Those things you add that somehow subtract from all the noise. Get out of your own head for a while and enjoy something else.
Life is strangely both a very long and very short journey to be looking the wrong way most of the time.
The same morning I read Mary’s account on From the Pen Cup of reaching the milestone of seven years of Morning Pages (well-deserved applause all round), I ended my own daily journalling streak which stood at 1308 consecutive days. A tip of the hat in either direction, perhaps. Congratulations Mary, I wish you many more years, Morning Pages, and words to come.
Myself? Well, I’m guessing it will largely be the same, and while 1308 days is no seven year run, I’m fairly content with my consistency, particularly given there were a few decent consecutive-day streaks (albeit lower in number) before that. If so, why the celebratory “I missed a day” post? It certainly isn’t to decry the act of journalling, and whether it’s a page a day in the Muji A6 notebooks I’ve used these past couple of years, or the mind map I’ve just dumped into a new MindNode document for this post, both have the same effect: thoughts are out (page, screen, blog…) and better for it.
Given the subtext of this post might read: a post related to journalling but not really a post about journalling, forgive me for the confusion. What I’m railing against a little here is becoming too wrapped up in my “streak” for its own sake — or the sake of my “system”. That said, I suspect this journalling example is simply bearing the brunt of a certain level of frustration with my other systems, habits, and routines as they relate to output when sitting at my desk. As the commonly used quote attributed to Peter Drucker states” ”if you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it.” Well, to that I’d counter: “if you can measure it, you can certainly obsess over it” – attribute that one to me…
Journalling is the first thing I do every morning and something I certainly see continuing indefinitely, as I find it a great way to ease into the day. Some days I write about everything, others it’s nothing at all. There are days I’ve Googled and rewritten song lyrics for goodness’ sake, and yes, there have been some significant life events mentioned in those pages as well. As you’d expect, there are (brief) tales of challenging and emotional times, however the last sentence of every entry begins with two letters enclosed in a box: GF (grateful for…). Whatever follows in that final line or two is a simple reminder of the good. Of course, this again runs the gamut: overcoming struggles, life events, a great cappuccino, or just how good the nib is on my Pilot Custom 823. The big and the small — it’s all there.
I guess that is where I’m coming from with my thinking on this — hastily scrawling a date and “nothing to see here” (or similar) on days when I’d missed the morning routine (usually when away from home), just doesn’t feel quite right. Of course, it’s not wrong either — if it had a purpose other than to simply fill in the circle on my Streaks app.
In many ways, the streak needed to be broken simply to put my mind at ease and confirm it could be broken without the earth somehow falling off its axis. It didn’t by the way, with the new streak now sitting at 7 days. I do feel quite ridiculous in saying some sort of weight had been lifted, when after missing the morning routine that day, I made a conscious decision to leave it that way as I walked past the journal sitting on my desk that same night. Be real and end it…
I started a daily journalling habit a good few years ago because I thought I should, though I’ll keep going for any number of great reasons. I never have to decide what the first task or activity is in my day; it is a perfect chance to work through a rotation of fountain pens; it gives the coffee machine time to warm up; and I do feel as though I’ve missed something on the few occasions I haven’t done it.
Now though? Well, I’ll happily continue this helpful and calming daily ritual without the overhead of a 1300+ daily streak to maintain. It is indeed ok to “break the chain” Jerry.
So today, I am indeed grateful for: ending a streak, but continuing one of the more valuable habits I’ve managed to form.
Well there we have it. After making it almost three years covid-free through this pandemic, I’ve been hobbled at the final hurdle – the 2022 Christmas family visit. As late as the morning of Christmas Eve, packing was being finalised and lists checked off. Cars were fuelled and tyre pressures correct. Departure was imminent, save for the pre-trip Covid check, which as you can now guess, in my case turned out to be disappointingly positive.
Sure, there are ways to manage these things and still make the trip, however suffice to say, our particular circumstances dictated the trip be cancelled. A somewhat quieter Christmas at either end of the two hour drive which separates us would now follow. Time for a little quiet reflection perhaps? Right you are, and of course that’s exactly what happened.
Amongst the kind (and certainly welcome) messages acknowledging the sad situation we found ourselves in, also came a certain clarity of thought around the reason for the trip. To see loved ones — as is the case with most of us this time of year. With many solutions offered in the well-wishing messages, summarised as: take a separate car/sit outside/wear a mask/just drop by at a distance, all consideration was given, however the decision to cancel was never in doubt.
You see, a little clarity of thought around what was being missed here is the key — at least in my mind. Yes, we are a family that celebrates Christmas in all the typical ways. All things going well, that is what has always occurred, and will continue every year into the future. The key however being it’s not the date that matters. The disappointment I feel in not being able to make a three day visit to see my family is no worse on December 25th than it might be on say, the 10th of June — or any other date.
Sure, it’s very disappointing. Seeing them on a particular “day” is not really what’s important to me — simply seeing them is. It’s about the visit not the date. And yes, plans are already in place to visit in about 10 days if things go our way.
So in the spirit of making the most of a bad situation, it’s a fine summer day here in Brisbane, and I’ll continue my recovery in front of the television, alternating between the Boxing Day cricket test match and the Sydney to Hobart yacht race. A return to full health is best achieved with leftover ham and judicious amounts of pavlova — both of which are in plentiful supply. Add to that the real saviours and joy in this situation, my wife and kids, with whom I’ve just spent Christmas — albeit at a short distance through a mask. It wasn’t “as planned”, and despite feeling a little unwell, I can certainly not complain about these past few days.
In the midst of the chaos surrounding extreme weather, flight cancellations, health concerns, and many other challenges, I hope your plans went along as proposed. Mine certainly will — just a little later than expected.
Pete Denison 